You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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