Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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