Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
