Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize