She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
