All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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