doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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