What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize