Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
