can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
