I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What a dumb baby whore.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This toilet bowl is my home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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