New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The adults are the big ones right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
