we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
