Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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