that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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