he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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