Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize