I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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