Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
