I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
