You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
