she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
