Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
