well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
