the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
