i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
