so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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