Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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