You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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