Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
