I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
