I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
