Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
