Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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