Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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