mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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