Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize