Whod you bang
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
