I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
