why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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