woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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