I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
