You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
