Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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