whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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