ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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