so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
