I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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