Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize