Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
