"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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