What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
