Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
