They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
