I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
