hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
