I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
