guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
