I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
