I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
