check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
