Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
