bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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