he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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