I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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