I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
