it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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