One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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