Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
