Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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