pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
