i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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