I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
