sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize