He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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