Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
